YAHWEH: The LORD Provides

December 19, 2011


 “The lot is cast into the lap, but its every decision is from the LORD.”

—Proverbs 16:33

     This morning’s devotional brought exactly what I needed to hear. With a strict confidence, I can honestly say my Lord creator is watching out for me, my heart, and the things and people I care about. I read the above proverb particularly through Charles Surgeon’s Morning and Evening devotional, which you can read for yourself down below. Proverbs 16 is by far one of my favorites because it deals a lot with man planning his ways but the LORD establishing his steps—Proverbs 16:9. It then ends with the truth of every chance coincidence such as the tossing of a dice being predetermined by the LORD, “its every decision is from [Him].”

     There is no reason to be anxious. We could all do so much better to walk in patience, quiet, and cheerfulness . . . Every single hair on our head is numbered and not even a single sparrow will fall without our Saviour knowing. Some would ague that God exists but doesn’t particularly want to be involved. I tell you, He is so involved in our lives and on such a personal level, believing otherwise would be taking a very serious matter for granted. Which I must admit I have done on too many occasions.

     “When a man is anxious, he cannot pray with faith. When he is troubled about the world, he cannot serve his Master, his thoughts are serving himself.” This struck me. I have always had the most difficulty praying; I have tried most diligently to pray frequently but a conversation with God is no easy task when one is so distracted. The weariness of self-preservation, provision, and the unfairness of any inconvenient circumstance leads me quite easily into praying over triviality.  My “meddling with Christ’s business” has caused me to neglect my own in allowing Him to be my all mighty provider and realizing that it is my business to be obedient.


Spurgeon’s final thoughts are most encouraging,

“Come and survey your Father's storehouse, and ask whether He will let you starve while He has laid up so great an abundance in His garner? Look at His heart of mercy; see if that can ever prove unkind! Look at His inscrutable wisdom; see if that will ever be at fault. Above all, look up to Jesus Christ your Intercessor, and ask yourself, while He pleads, can your Father deal ungraciously with you? If He remembers even sparrows, will He forget one of the least of His poor children? "Cast thy burden upon the Lord, and He will sustain thee. He will never suffer the righteous to be moved."

     After my morning devotional I go on to eat breakfast—an extremely important part of the day and I have not the slightest why I have been ignoring it for so long—get a hot cup of Earl Gray and then go back on up to my room to study CS Lewis’ Mere Christianity. I read something today that really complimented what I read earlier that morning and wanted to share it as well.

“Now God designed the human machine to run on Himself. He Himself is the fuel our spirits were designed to burn, or the food our spirits were designed to feed on. There is no other. That is why it is just no good asking God to make us happy in our own way without bothering about religion. God cannot give us a happiness and peace apart from himself, because it is not there. There is no such thing”

-CS Lewis from Mere Christianity

     The ideas gleamed from this short paragraph from an incredible book also struck me deeply. Despite all the things I desire and long for in life, God is the only entity that can bring me true happiness—everything else is either a distraction or complimentary. The happiness and peace I seek lies only in Him and through Him are wonderful gifts received such as my beautiful family and wonderful friends. May I never take for granted all the things my heavenly Father has given me. My God is my great sustainer, satisfactory in all things, and wonderful savior. Amen.

"My heart is inditing a good matter: I speak of the things which I have made touching the king: my tongue is the pen of a ready writer."

From C.H. Spurgeon

"The lot is cast into the lap, but the whole disposing thereof is of the Lord."—Proverbs 16:33.

     If the disposal of the lot is the Lord's whose is the arrangement of our whole life? If the simple casting of a lot is guided by Him, how much more the events of our entire life—especially when we are told by our blessed Saviour: "The very hairs of your head are all numbered: not a sparrow falleth to the ground without your Father." It would bring a holy calm over your mind, dear friend, if you were always to remember this. It would so relieve your mind from anxiety, that you would be the better able to walk in patience, quiet, and cheerfulness as a Christian should. When a man is anxious he cannot pray with faith; when he is troubled about the world, he cannot serve his Master, his thoughts are serving himself. If you would "seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness," all things would then be added unto you. You are meddling with Christ's business, and neglecting your own when you fret about your lot and circumstances. You have been trying "providing" work and forgetting that it is yours to obey. Be wise and attend to the obeying, and let Christ manage the providing. Come and survey your Father's storehouse, and ask whether He will let you starve while He has laid up so great an abundance in His garner? Look at His heart of mercy; see if that can ever prove unkind! Look at His inscrutable wisdom; see if that will ever be at fault. Above all, look up to Jesus Christ your Intercessor, and ask yourself, while He pleads, can your Father deal ungraciously with you? If He remembers even sparrows, will He forget one of the least of His poor children? "Cast thy burden upon the Lord, and He will sustain thee. He will never suffer the righteous to be moved."

     My soul, rest happy in thy low estate, Nor hope nor wish to be esteem'd or great; To take the impress of the Will Divine, Be that thy glory, and those riches thine.

In the Beginning. . .

In the beginning was the Logos. And the Logos was set in motion creating all things seen and unseen. The Logos is the word and the word comes from the ultimate source of all things made and unmade. The Logos is Truth that comes from the source which all things were made and must return. The truth is the word and the word is conveyed in vast formations--plain and mysterious.

The logos is a living entity and exists in all things. Yet all things come from the source: a single entity that binds and creates all things known and unknown.

The Logos, the word, and the source are synonymous symbols by which Truth can be found. . .

Through the word. . .

Through light. . .

Through sound. . .

Through motion. . .

The Logos set in motion creates all things seen and unseen; known and unknown; made and unmade.

The Logos speaks this way so that you can better understand. . .

To speak through metaphors can the Truth be inspired that then when the Truth finds you can the Logos be understood.

Let the Logos speak.

Let the people hear.

Let the Truth find you.

For the Truth cannot be found lest the Truth finds you first.

Through the word, through light, through sound, and motion.

John 1:1 (ESV)

1In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. 2He was in the beginning with God. 3All things were made through him, and without him was not any thing made that was made. 4In him was life,^a and the life was the light of men. 5The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it.

"My heart is inditing a good matter: I speak of the things which I have made touching the king: my tongue is the pen of a ready writer."

You know that feeling...

The feeling you get when you’re asleep but you still feel like you’re awake?

It’s a restless tossing and turning that all thanks goes to having too much on the mind...

I understand the necessity of resting the eyes and the feet, I tend to do it even when I feel the need during the day. But my mind... My mind seems to never sleep, never rest.

And it’s not a simple shutdown that I’m looking for, but a pattern of thought that ends.

To take everything I was thinking about the day before, or anything I’m worried about, and just stop thinking about it...

Being anxious for nothing isn’t nearly as easy as it seems...

But I would do good to at least put myself in a position where I didn’t have to worry about anything because I took the responsibility of securing whatever it is I’m concerned about. I asked questions, I did my research, I tied the loose ends, I even said I was sorry...

Yet still, I feel like I can never get any sound and peaceful rest...

Sometimes I get too much sleep... In fact, I think sometimes I get just enough and the truth behind my lack of rest is I’d rather be resting then living... This would explain why I’m so worried about getting up the next day, the tossing and turning comes from me not wanting to face any present or future consequences.

I’m really not afraid of getting dirty... But I tend to avoid it whenever I can.

This will surely lead me to failure and even. . .

Death.

They say that one third of your life is spent sleeping...

Let’s start making more of what two thirds we have left...


"My heart is inditing a good matter: I speak of the things which I have made touching the king: my tongue is the pen of a ready writer."

So I've been B.U.S.Y and I'll really regret feeling that way. . .

There's this thing about wanting less on your plate that always get's me confused. . . Shouldn't having a lot to do make me a happier person? Then have to ask myself, "Why do I really do it? Because it makes me happy?"


Sometimes I forget that there are people watching me but only because I never get that sense of approval or appreciation that everyone or. . . At least every guy really longs for... My life continues to be something merely observed and, on occasion, poked at by some bystander I probably hardly know, but then again who's fault is that, who's fault is it that I barely know who's observing me?

Dear void, are you listening?

Well if you are, that probably means you've been listening since the beginning. I just wish you'd say something back every once in awhile.

So I'm apologizing in a way to you Emptiness, that in a way, I've considered myself to be very busy. As a matter of fact, it is this business that has kept me away for such a very long time, that has kept me from writing to the Abyss on such very rare but meaningful occasions.

I was reminded on how terrible a thing, being busy, can really be.

It means that I consider myself distracted and unaware of my surroundings.

Unable to fathom how great a universe I happen to exist. The very plain I stand upon should thoroughly  seduce me into thinking, "My God! What a world you have made"

Being busy is like saying I'm ignoring my best friend. . . Which in someways, I have indeed done this horrible thing to indeed go on to do what I think is keeping me busy. Realistically speaking, I'm making an escuse to not make time, and realize that everything I do isn't for my self benefit that it is to give me an opportunity to shine a little dim light in the darkness that surrounds me that I feel is so close it almost chokes the life out of me. But I must endure this darkness, I must continue to shine, realizing that it is this purpose that keeps me going forward.

I should never aim or state that I am or have been busy.

I am always glorifying that which has made me--My Lord, my God. Amen.

"My heart is inditing a good matter: I speak of the things which I have made touching the king: my tongue is the pen of a ready writer."

Waking up with Discovery and the Frost

I obviously have a lot to say today. . . I guess this whole writing and reading business really has me excited.

-The Frost

This morning I seemed quite optimistic; optimistic to wake up, optimistic to start the day right, optimistic to write about it.

Other then a little lack of sleep, I felt I had the energy and gusto I needed to conquer an army, speaking of which, I started to listen/read to "The Art of War" a very interesting read (or manual I should say) on war fare. I find it a very intriguing listen on audio and plan on reading it for myself shortly. It is a wonderful way to pass time between drives back and fort from school.

I attend a private University where I am currently studying mass communications and journalism hence why I love writing so much and why I look so much forward to telling stories I hope to create this semester. By serious inspiration, I know I'll be struck with something soon. At least I hope it will be soon because I only have 17 weeks left to produce a final film project for a production course I'm taking this semester. I'll elaborate a little bit more about the school another time.

This morning I said I was very optimistic... This didn't change, however, to some surprise yet with little disappointment, this optimism of mine was soon challenged by the very forces of nature themselves.

Gosh darn it... I can't believe sometimes how much more I type out here that I seem to be leaving out in my journal. You see, I keep a written record of everything I do and think about through out the day now and reiterate anything I found interesting here... Yet, it's almost 10 times better when I redo it! You would think this would make me happy, yet alas, I only wish I would take some more time to think about things... But now that I think of it, I think this is how it is supposed to work. I much rather type anyway but I really want something more concrete. Oh well, where was I?

Oh yes! The Frost!

To my surprise, it was a chilly 30 degrees this morning and my windows were covered in a thin yet solid layer of frost. I expected a warm and welcoming day. Instead I got frosted windows and Houston traffic. On top of that, I was late to my first Old Testament Survey course. The professor was very understanding it being my first day.

It normally is not cold enough in Texas for such an alien thing to occur yet it still happened to my ungrateful surprise. I was fortunate that my brother (who is 2 years younger then I) recently was given our legally blind aunt's car for Christmas. She is all the way from northern Missouri and kept an ice scraper near in the passenger side pocket.

Chipping away the ice was simple enough then and because of this event I hope to pay a little more attention to the weather channel--rain or shine.

Jan. 12, 2010 I wrote:

Story Idea:

~The Ironclad Fist

Story about the rise of Ironclad ships vs. the wooden boats of it's previous era.

So while in History today, I had an idea for a story about Ironclad war ships going up against enormous forces consisting of archaic weaponry (especially boats made of wood.)

Ironclad ships have always been a small interest of mine since they are uniquely built and rarely seen or heard of today. I am also a sucker for what is called "Steampunk" which I am sure I will further explain in detail at one point or another. Just wanted to jot this all down before i Naturally forget...

Aspiration

-----I am standing on a beach peering across a vast sea with a an unnatural purplish blue sky, dark blue clouds, and lighting bursting in the distance; the water is transparent yet thick as blue paint tossing about the wind; and the beach, the beach is a deserted, barren, and an empty thing, and I say thing because it seemed alive. There is nothing behind me but mountains and nothing in front of me but the sea and a dock which extended about 60 feet across the water. As I stared beyond the dark and corroded dock and into the distance wondering why I was there, a strong breeze brushed across my face and a warm glow of green and blue and yellow light shown throughout the horizon. I gazed further to see a figure in white robes. I had this strange desire to go out to him but I was afraid... A voice said, “come” and I ran to the dock and dashed across the planks. No longer could I feel the cool sand nor the harsh wood but the cool water beneath my feet. I was in amazement! I was walking on the water! I increased my stride as my desire to reach this person intensified. CRASH! ROAR! HISS! The wind began to shriek, the waves began to beat against me. Fear consumed and I began to sink! “God NO!” was all I could think then.
-----I couldn’t understand… I knew I was dreaming but all I could do was watch myself drown. I tried with all my strength to swim back up but the sea was just too strong… I just couldn’t do it by myself. As I held my breath in my dream I held it in reality trying so hard to come back up for air but I just couldn’t do it. I felt so alone, so scared, and in such despair that I just couldn’t do anything. My sight began to fade, my life began to fade, and my dream began to fade. When my hope of reaching the surface was almost completely gone, SWOOP! Went a mighty hand, grabbing me by the chest, and out of the water. It was an incredible feeling… I gasped for air and awoke form my dream.
-----It seemed so real. . . It seemed so real was all that I could think. As I pondered such an experience naturally I recalled the same experience Peter had as he walked on water out to His savior. It was a lack of faith and a lack of focus that caused Peter to hesitate and fall but it was Jesus Christ that gave him true strength and ability to do the impossible. It is my prayer that I can cut off my fear of drowning in a world of deep inequity and leap out with faith that God will catch me and never let me go. I want to do what He commands me without hesitation, never losing focus of His perfection, and always looking forward to my chief end--To glorify and enjoy Him forever. Amen