Straylight Run and my 100th blog post

For the Best

by

 Straylight Run

And it takes more time than ive ever had,

drains the life from me, makes me want to forget.

As young as i was, i felt older back then, 

more disciplined, stronger and certian. 

But i was scared to death of eternity,

i was saved by grace and destroyed by naivety,

and i lied to myself and said it was for the best.

So now faith is replaced with logic so cold,

ive disregarded what i was now that im older.

And i know much more then i did back then,

but the more i learn the more i cant understand.

And ive become content with this life that i lead,

where i drink to much and dont believe in much of anything.

And i lie to myself, and say its for the best.

Were moving forward but holding ourselves back, and were waiting on something that will never come...

Were moving forward but holding ourselves back, and were waiting on something that will never come

Were moving forward but holding ourselves back, and were waiting on something that will never come (And i lie to myself, and say its for the best)

Were moving forward but holding ourselves back, and were waiting on something that will never come(And i lie to myself, and say its for the best)

Were moving forward but holding ourselves back, and were waiting on something that will never come (And i lie to myself, and say its for the best)

Were moving forward but holding ourselves back, and were waiting on something that will never come (And i lie to myself, and say its for the best)

This song was sent to me by a dear friend of mine and I wanted to pass it on myself...


I suppose this is a large stepping stone for me. Not only is this my 100th post but I'll also be turning 20 years old with in the next 48 hours. 


I'll put it in the way my friend did.


I'm not scared.


I'm terrified.


It's not that I'm scared of change or getting older...


I'm scared of not knowing, not seeing, not hearing the sweet abyss speak to me the words of wisdom and devine counsel... To know, to see, to hear what the future holds for me...


There's plenty of knowledge in the world and the writing of many books there will be no end...


But to be wise in knowing, to understand, to discover--who I am and what I am for. . .



My life isn’t as typical as I once thought... I feel that I now live with a much higher purpose and I continue to suppress all that would make me ordinary. I long to make my mark in this universe, but am without means or desire... Because it would not be for my own glory but of that which made me... There is no more authentic originality in my work for it is nothing more than reflections of what has already been made; wherefore, I am a procreator that projects life on the walls of emptiness and nothing more...

I long to create life just as my creator before me. To breathe into new worlds of my own inspiration, to share such worlds with others through whatever effective means I have to my disposal.

To release from this flawed earth and escape my shell is what I long for most. . .

For I am indeed a spirit going though a painful and confusing human existence...

Yet I endure for the sheer pleasure of life--The taste of the air is sweet and the sights are even more desirable...

But there is nothing to gain, nothing worth while, nothing worth pursuing without the love, without the grace, without the glory of God being the central purpose.

I was created to serve.

And before man, I will serve the Lord.

Although I'll begin to change outwardly, bodily, and ideally, I hope and pray that my heart will never change.

I will always look at the universe not for it's complexity...

But for it's wonder.

God, make in me a true servent that longs for nothing but you and you alone.

Grant me the faith of a child and the love of a son.

Amen.

"My heart is inditing a good matter: I speak of the things which I have made touching the king: my tongue is the pen of a ready writer."