In the Beginning. . .

In the beginning was the Logos. And the Logos was set in motion creating all things seen and unseen. The Logos is the word and the word comes from the ultimate source of all things made and unmade. The Logos is Truth that comes from the source which all things were made and must return. The truth is the word and the word is conveyed in vast formations--plain and mysterious.

The logos is a living entity and exists in all things. Yet all things come from the source: a single entity that binds and creates all things known and unknown.

The Logos, the word, and the source are synonymous symbols by which Truth can be found. . .

Through the word. . .

Through light. . .

Through sound. . .

Through motion. . .

The Logos set in motion creates all things seen and unseen; known and unknown; made and unmade.

The Logos speaks this way so that you can better understand. . .

To speak through metaphors can the Truth be inspired that then when the Truth finds you can the Logos be understood.

Let the Logos speak.

Let the people hear.

Let the Truth find you.

For the Truth cannot be found lest the Truth finds you first.

Through the word, through light, through sound, and motion.

John 1:1 (ESV)

1In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. 2He was in the beginning with God. 3All things were made through him, and without him was not any thing made that was made. 4In him was life,^a and the life was the light of men. 5The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it.

"My heart is inditing a good matter: I speak of the things which I have made touching the king: my tongue is the pen of a ready writer."

Logos Kinon

So I’ve been following around the blog-sphere and started to notice something that some blogs have that mine doesn’t.

A theme...

I thought I had a theme... In fact, it would appear that the theme of this blog is fairly obvious but I don’t think I’ve ever come out and admitted that [I] even knew what it was...

The name has always been “Renaissance Man.”

Why?

Well that is something I aspire to be. . .

It’s a life long pursuit, yes, but what pursuit in life isn’t?

I honestly had no clue what I wanted to be when I grew up because I couldn’t make up my mind... I was also scared that whatever I chose to become wouldn’t make me happy, I’d change my mind but it would be too late... I had to be certain! But I just couldn’t choose to do any one thing, because I knew that any one thing couldn’t make me happy.

I use to tell people, then, that I wanted to be a jack of all trades but master of none.

I soon realized that employers and businesses don’t like to hear this sort of thing: they rely upon individuals with very specific skills and character traits.

Well, there’s nothing really wrong with wanting to know how to do all sorts of different things or to desire many different abilities; however, it’s still important to find what you’re really good at and stick with it--also know as “finding your niche.”

“What am I good at?” was the next question...

Photography and graphic art are two things I’ve always loved and enjoyed...

I love taking pictures and I love manipulating them to make something out of this world!

I love talking about it, can’t stop thinking about it, and I love teaching others about it all the time.

It didn’t stop there, though, and that’s when life started to get really interesting.

Still images are amazing things and like they say, “A picture speaks a thousand words”

I then thought to myself, “I enjoy speaking words of encouragement especially through my writing and my photographs... But if a picture speaks a thousand words, then how many words are spoken in moving pictures or film?”

The standard film rate in American cinema is 24 frames per second.

And a feature length film is said to be an average of 90 to 120 minutes in length

1000 words times 24 fames times 60 seconds times 120 minutes equals 172,800,000 words!

Of course, I’m not just talking about the dialog, and yes, one cannot take in a single frame of film as they can a single photograph; however, the possibilities of communicating ideas and the amount of skill that goes into this extensively collaborative business is incredible!

So incredible... That I’m sure it’s what I want to do for the rest of my life...

You take film and you get both a collaborative effort extensively involved in both art and science.

Am I capable of being the best at every little aspect of film making? Of course not. But working in film still gives me the chance to use what gifts I do have and mix and match them with the gifts others have. I’m not so bright when it comes to music, but I can still use what little knowledge I have to work with someone who has dedicated his or her life to musical theory. I may not be that great of a craftsmen, but who knows? I may get to work with some of the greatest craftsmen this world has ever known. And to think, it can all happen on the set of a film.

I now like to think of the renaissance man and the filmmaker as synonymous--one and the same...

I now realize that, overall, this has been something I’ve been wanting to achieve since I was learning more about art in high school.

I was home schooled in fact which could be of no surprise considering that many other renaissance souls out there were home schooled also.  But now, at twenty years of age, I am encouraged to share that I am attending University seeking a degree in mass communications with emphasis in film production, cinematography, digital editing, and motion design.

As for my writing... I shouldn’t desire to limit my scope in the film industry only. So while I may not always speak of filmmaking or whatever I may be working on at the time, I should like to discuss things beyond that.

I try not to seem like an activist of sorts. I tend to remain neutral on most controversial issues. Instead, I would seek to share what little wisdom I have found through life and scriptures not to point out the wrong in life, but to expound on how we all can live better.

Whether I’m doing it here on my blog or hopefully someday in film, I shall strive to be of what encouragement I can  while seeking advancement in both art, science, and the word of God.

Of course, what little life I have left in this fascinating universe will be dedicated to He who as made me. All glory be to God and God alone. Amen.

So what is the theme of my blog?

Well,

If the Pen is Mightier then the sword...

If the word of God is sharper than any two edged sword...


If a Picture Speaks a Thousand Words...

If Film Is Thousands of Moving Pictures

Then the theme of my blog is this:

"Ho Logos Kinon"--The Moving Word

Finally, for anyone who is interested in art or science or both; for anyone in search of encouragement; for anyone interested in film production, photography, or graphic design; for anyone interested in sharing some deep thoughts in this sea of information, I hope you find yourself welcome here.

To any renaissance man (or women) out there,

God speed,

~Rob Oakley  (An aspiring Renaissance Man)



"My heart is inditing a good matter: I speak of the things which I have made touching the king: my tongue is the pen of a ready writer."

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You know that feeling...

The feeling you get when you’re asleep but you still feel like you’re awake?

It’s a restless tossing and turning that all thanks goes to having too much on the mind...

I understand the necessity of resting the eyes and the feet, I tend to do it even when I feel the need during the day. But my mind... My mind seems to never sleep, never rest.

And it’s not a simple shutdown that I’m looking for, but a pattern of thought that ends.

To take everything I was thinking about the day before, or anything I’m worried about, and just stop thinking about it...

Being anxious for nothing isn’t nearly as easy as it seems...

But I would do good to at least put myself in a position where I didn’t have to worry about anything because I took the responsibility of securing whatever it is I’m concerned about. I asked questions, I did my research, I tied the loose ends, I even said I was sorry...

Yet still, I feel like I can never get any sound and peaceful rest...

Sometimes I get too much sleep... In fact, I think sometimes I get just enough and the truth behind my lack of rest is I’d rather be resting then living... This would explain why I’m so worried about getting up the next day, the tossing and turning comes from me not wanting to face any present or future consequences.

I’m really not afraid of getting dirty... But I tend to avoid it whenever I can.

This will surely lead me to failure and even. . .

Death.

They say that one third of your life is spent sleeping...

Let’s start making more of what two thirds we have left...


"My heart is inditing a good matter: I speak of the things which I have made touching the king: my tongue is the pen of a ready writer."

Straylight Run and my 100th blog post

For the Best

by

 Straylight Run

And it takes more time than ive ever had,

drains the life from me, makes me want to forget.

As young as i was, i felt older back then, 

more disciplined, stronger and certian. 

But i was scared to death of eternity,

i was saved by grace and destroyed by naivety,

and i lied to myself and said it was for the best.

So now faith is replaced with logic so cold,

ive disregarded what i was now that im older.

And i know much more then i did back then,

but the more i learn the more i cant understand.

And ive become content with this life that i lead,

where i drink to much and dont believe in much of anything.

And i lie to myself, and say its for the best.

Were moving forward but holding ourselves back, and were waiting on something that will never come...

Were moving forward but holding ourselves back, and were waiting on something that will never come

Were moving forward but holding ourselves back, and were waiting on something that will never come (And i lie to myself, and say its for the best)

Were moving forward but holding ourselves back, and were waiting on something that will never come(And i lie to myself, and say its for the best)

Were moving forward but holding ourselves back, and were waiting on something that will never come (And i lie to myself, and say its for the best)

Were moving forward but holding ourselves back, and were waiting on something that will never come (And i lie to myself, and say its for the best)

This song was sent to me by a dear friend of mine and I wanted to pass it on myself...


I suppose this is a large stepping stone for me. Not only is this my 100th post but I'll also be turning 20 years old with in the next 48 hours. 


I'll put it in the way my friend did.


I'm not scared.


I'm terrified.


It's not that I'm scared of change or getting older...


I'm scared of not knowing, not seeing, not hearing the sweet abyss speak to me the words of wisdom and devine counsel... To know, to see, to hear what the future holds for me...


There's plenty of knowledge in the world and the writing of many books there will be no end...


But to be wise in knowing, to understand, to discover--who I am and what I am for. . .



My life isn’t as typical as I once thought... I feel that I now live with a much higher purpose and I continue to suppress all that would make me ordinary. I long to make my mark in this universe, but am without means or desire... Because it would not be for my own glory but of that which made me... There is no more authentic originality in my work for it is nothing more than reflections of what has already been made; wherefore, I am a procreator that projects life on the walls of emptiness and nothing more...

I long to create life just as my creator before me. To breathe into new worlds of my own inspiration, to share such worlds with others through whatever effective means I have to my disposal.

To release from this flawed earth and escape my shell is what I long for most. . .

For I am indeed a spirit going though a painful and confusing human existence...

Yet I endure for the sheer pleasure of life--The taste of the air is sweet and the sights are even more desirable...

But there is nothing to gain, nothing worth while, nothing worth pursuing without the love, without the grace, without the glory of God being the central purpose.

I was created to serve.

And before man, I will serve the Lord.

Although I'll begin to change outwardly, bodily, and ideally, I hope and pray that my heart will never change.

I will always look at the universe not for it's complexity...

But for it's wonder.

God, make in me a true servent that longs for nothing but you and you alone.

Grant me the faith of a child and the love of a son.

Amen.

"My heart is inditing a good matter: I speak of the things which I have made touching the king: my tongue is the pen of a ready writer."

Review of Actors from the London Stage Performance of Romeo & Juliet

     

by 

Robert Oakley 

     Thirty-five years of performance delight while touring over 15 universities  all the way  from  Notre Dame to our very own HBU Huskies, this “truly unique” program guarantees to deliver a show sure to entice the imagination and give a surreal perspective of the Shakespearian era.

     Actors from the London Stage come to Houston Baptist University with Shakespeare’s Romeo & Juliet--a most famous romance between “star-crossed” lovers never meant to be.

     Granted the stage was small being the limited but infamous Mabee Theatre, one should expect this minute space to widen as the characters develop one scene to the next while transporting the audience into a tale set in Italy long ago.

     Actors of the London Stage rapture themselves not from Notre Dame nor London but the land of Shakespeare itself. A stage richly designed with high walls, narrow streets, lush meadows, and exquisite skies; the characters with elegant costumes and shimmering blades of combat; the drama, action, and romance--all were there but in the imaginations of a captive audience. For Shakespeare, all that is needed are actors, a stage, and a whiteness to the magic.

     English director Peter Brook used the term, “Empty Space” when referring to the theatre. This empty space for Thursday night’s performance was little Mabee theatre and was quickly filled with participants of many walks of life longing to connect through a classic presentation of a truly romantic but tragic tale.

     As the lights dimmed, the audience prepared themselves. Walking upon the stage five modern thespians appeared on the thrust not in beautifully designed wardrobes of Shakespeare's time but all in blue hoodies and black cargo-pants. And not upon a well dressed stage but merely a single row of chairs on either side. If this was disconcerting and uncomfortable for some, the actors presented a most creative illusion which would veil the critical eye as the players introduced themselves as not only one but many characters disguising between themselves with colored scarves of green, red, and white.

     For starters, Geoffrey Lumb and Jennifer Higham introduced themselves as Romeo and Juliet  followed with a bo. Proceeding after was Martin Parr who introduced himself not as Friar Lawrence as his tall masculine stature would suggest at first but as “Lady Capulet,” which assured the audience that tonight would indeed be a delightful evening and hold true to Shakespearian  tradition. Among the other players were Liz Crowther and Marshall Griffin--all experienced and talented performers. After these quick and humorous introductions, the play officially began.

     The audience was truly engaged as they laughed to not only crafty dialog but convincing body language as the troupe of players used every part of their being to convey their characters. Starting off with a friendly soccer game--a fascinating ploy to suggest how the initial argument  between  the families of Capulet and Montague began--a quarrel soon started and swords were drawn setting the mood, imbruing the imagination and making the mundane of props magnificent. It is this way all throughout the play: from the beginning of the first act to the tragic end of the second.

     The London Stage Actors delivered their performance in a most simplistic but complex way and yet they deserve so much credit, let not one forget the genius behind the writing but none other then William Shakespeare himself. Without him, the story, and the compelling characters, the play would be nothing. A standing ovation to the London Stage Actors as they presented a classic holding true to tradition yet adding a modern twist that made it enjoyable for all.


"My heart is inditing a good matter: I speak of the things which I have made touching the king: my tongue is the pen of a ready writer."

Review of Actors from the London Stage Up Coming Performance of Romeo & Juliet

Mabee Theatre, March 11th, 2010

By

Robert Oakley

35 years of performance delight while touring over 15 universities  all the way  from  Notre Dame to our very own HBU Huskies, this “truly unique” program guarantees to deliver a show sure to entice the imagination and a surreal perspective of the Shakespearian era.

Actors from the London Stage come to Houston Baptist University with Shakespeare’s Romeo & Juliet--a most famous romance between lovers never meant to be.

For tonight’s review I will take several questions into consideration. Although I’ve not seen anything from the London Stage before nor have I seen Romeo and Juliet, I expect nothing more then a superb performance (It is Shakespeare after all). Granted the stage will be small being the limited but infamous Mabee Theatre, I expect the minute space to widen as the characters develop one scene to the next and transport the audience into a tale set in Italy long before any of us were born.

How well do the London players portray their interpretation of a classic?

•     Verbally
•     Physically
•     Emotionally

  
Setting and Mood: How well does the structure of the stage portray the Shakespearian Atmosphere?

•     Lighting
•     Set-props
•     Devices

  
Was he audience engaged  into the performance and in what ways?

•     Laughing, crying, etc. . .

•     Will the actors dare to break the fourth wall and ask the audience questions? 

Story and Character Development being of the most important question I shall consider.
As I experience visual story telling more, the more I realize what that experience is for--to escape and at the same time experience reality. Though different this reality may be, it's an experience through different shoes allowing an opportunity visually answer the question "What if?"

And with that, I will have to just wait and see how it goes... So tonight, seven o'clock sharp we'll know for sure as I fully intend to report on tonight's festivities.


"My heart is inditing a good matter: I speak of the things which I have made touching the king: my tongue is the pen of a ready writer."

My Upcoming Research Paper in Summary

Describe your topic:


My literature review investigates media literacy and the effects there of in social, educational, and political arenas. These studies bring into perspective the use of media in schools to educate and to prevent cultural decline and adolescent behavior—taking the current and next generations ahead into the future of communications.

What is the most important thing you have found to date?

The most important thing I have discovered is the positive enforcement of “experience” learning in education presenting students more hands on opportunities to engage the world around them.

Rather than reading and hearing about the universe, students can visually interact with it creating a stronger and concrete understanding.

What is the weirdest/strangest/most unexpected thing you have found to date?

Whether I have yet to find—or perhaps I’m not looking close enough—most of the research I have found has been done outside of the US. For example, many studies are being done in Canada, Tokyo, and even the Netherlands; however, I have found very few articles concerning the United States of America (being so media centered in its communications I found this somewhat odd. . .). This leaves me to question as to whether or not proper steps are being taken to better educate society and prepare them for the changing times. Perhaps some experts feel that these new technologies and methods will progressively become more and more common; on the contrary, I feel that some education in media literacy—the proper interpretation of media—is a crucial study especially in early development.

What argument could you be making on your topic?

Some of the advantages in media education are not yet fully realized in the US and improper interpretation of media (i.e. political propaganda) can lead US citizens astray. Furthermore, individuals may lose educational opportunities, jobs, and even citizenship if left to fend for themselves in understanding new media, new technology, and new communication.


"My heart is inditing a good matter: I speak of the things which I have made touching the king: my tongue is the pen of a ready writer."

Lyrics to Green Grass Of Tunnel :

Down from my ceiling
Drips great noise
It drips on my head through a hole in the roof

Behind these two hills here
There's a pool

And when I'm swimming in
Through a tunnel
I shut my eyes

Inside the cabin I make sounds
In through the tubes I send this noise

Behind these two hills here
Fall asleep
And when I float in green grass of tunnel
It flows back

Down from my ceiling
Drips great noise

It drips on my head through a hole in the roof

Behind these two hills here
There's a pool
And when I'm swimming in
Through a tunnel....
I shut my eyes.

I shut my eyes 

"My heart is inditing a good matter: I speak of the things which I have made touching the king: my tongue is the pen of a ready writer."

So I've been B.U.S.Y and I'll really regret feeling that way. . .

There's this thing about wanting less on your plate that always get's me confused. . . Shouldn't having a lot to do make me a happier person? Then have to ask myself, "Why do I really do it? Because it makes me happy?"


Sometimes I forget that there are people watching me but only because I never get that sense of approval or appreciation that everyone or. . . At least every guy really longs for... My life continues to be something merely observed and, on occasion, poked at by some bystander I probably hardly know, but then again who's fault is that, who's fault is it that I barely know who's observing me?

Dear void, are you listening?

Well if you are, that probably means you've been listening since the beginning. I just wish you'd say something back every once in awhile.

So I'm apologizing in a way to you Emptiness, that in a way, I've considered myself to be very busy. As a matter of fact, it is this business that has kept me away for such a very long time, that has kept me from writing to the Abyss on such very rare but meaningful occasions.

I was reminded on how terrible a thing, being busy, can really be.

It means that I consider myself distracted and unaware of my surroundings.

Unable to fathom how great a universe I happen to exist. The very plain I stand upon should thoroughly  seduce me into thinking, "My God! What a world you have made"

Being busy is like saying I'm ignoring my best friend. . . Which in someways, I have indeed done this horrible thing to indeed go on to do what I think is keeping me busy. Realistically speaking, I'm making an escuse to not make time, and realize that everything I do isn't for my self benefit that it is to give me an opportunity to shine a little dim light in the darkness that surrounds me that I feel is so close it almost chokes the life out of me. But I must endure this darkness, I must continue to shine, realizing that it is this purpose that keeps me going forward.

I should never aim or state that I am or have been busy.

I am always glorifying that which has made me--My Lord, my God. Amen.

"My heart is inditing a good matter: I speak of the things which I have made touching the king: my tongue is the pen of a ready writer."

Goodday Sunshine

You the know the terrible thing about living off campus?

Is the drive.

I'm always telling myself, "If it wasn't for the stressful drive through downtown, my life would be less stressful"

But the compromise would mean leaving my five--soon to be six *wink*--siblings for an entire semester. And of course I would miss my parents as well. I would have weekends to visit I suppose. But see, I'm currently living in Houston and by 2011 I hope to move to Austin to further a more focused attention in radio, television, and film production.

I should probably share how I got so interested in film especially at one point or another but the sad thing is I only have so very little time to write down these little blurbs in the morning.

I have found that I must wake up at least two hours before my class actually starts... Because it takes practically an hour to drive and I need at least one hour to wake myself up. It is extremely dangerous to wake up, throw your cloths on, not eat, not take a shower, and throw my books into a bag (hoping I got the right ones) and proceed to drive for 45-60 minutes in rush hour traffic.

Now, I refuse to get up and first thing pick up something to read or write. I normally am too confused or exhausted to even open my eye lids for one thing, but I would still like to remain as creative and active as possible for I really would rather go back to sleep. In all actuality, I have to find reasons to be awake especially so early.

And this is one major price I pay while choosing to live at home.

On the upside, I do get to stay and see a family that loves me on a daily basis.

Free food and lodge and laundry.

So it's good to mutch off. . . But that also requires me to help out more which shouldn't be an issue since I am getting service for water and electricity without paying a time. So taking any of this for granted is out of the question.

Taking my safety for granted when I go to sleep at night is out of the question too, but I'll further expound on that another time. It's very interesting the things I'm discovering about my American Government that I long to share. So, I'm looking forward to that. 

So in the morning, I HAVE to eat something (usually cereal and orange juice; though, that get's old).

I have made it a pressing issue to follow the weather everyday now but that can be somewhat depressing especially to find out it's going to rain all week, but at least I won't be surprised or unprepared.

Well, enough chitchat for now. It's 6:45 and that should give me enough time to get ready and run out the door. I guess it would be a good idea to already be dressed and my books in my bag. I'm so tired in the morning, though, I'm worried I'll put my legs through my shirt and my pants over my head...

Okay, maybe I wouldn't do that, but still. . .

I'll write what's in my journal later this evening. Later though I'm going to video a men's basketball game for instant replay purposes which I've never done so it's sure to be an adventure.

Here's to a good day! I hope indeed you have a good one yourself.

Talk to you later,

~Rob



"My heart is inditing a good matter: I speak of the things which I have made touching the king: my tongue is the pen of a ready writer."

Ringo Starr

So I couldn't sleep last night. . . Well actually I really didn't want to go to sleep but what's the difference?

I was called up stairs after writing my earlier post and not a day after mentioning them before, low and behold the last of the Beatles was on a night-time talk show. None other then Ringo Starr!

I honestly don't know too much about him but what little time I had to meet his acquaintance through the telie I will never forget.

Thank you Insomnia, you've done it for me again. . .

Haha... That's a joke. Being a college student it's not really a wise thing at all to stay up till three o'clock in the morning and not expect to be exhausted the following day. It's been proven to me that it really doesn't matter when your first class is. If you don't go to bed on a regular schedule and then you sleep in until it's absolutely time to leave... Without a doubt, you're going to be exhausted, confused, and disoriented the entire day. I don't recommend it and I trust it won't be something I'd like to try ever again. Studies have shown that it takes at least an hour for your mind and body to actually wake up. So for now on, I tend to wake up an hour before it's actually time to go. Which means two hours before class actually starts since it takes 45 minutes to drive to school... *long tired sigh*

I did stay up and watch some really cool animated films on Netflix though. I really enjoyed this one called "Memories" and if you never seen anime and you might be interested in checking something out, I'd definitely recommend this one. It's really three different Anime's in one. It's a trilogy yet each episode doesn't really have anything to do with each other. It's really just a collection of some very well done and I must say intriguing short films all traditionally hand drawn with a little computer aid here and there. The series does give almost everything you could expect in a Japanese animation from it's horror to it's humor, from it's abstract creation to the most basic yet incredible adventures taking mundane and making it marvelous.

Check it out on IMDB:

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0113799/

So that was my little inspiration trip as it were... Yet it wasn't a very wise thing to stay up so late to watch it. Yet I'm still glad I did.

Wednesday, Jan. 13, 2010 I wrote:

I didn't finally go to bed until 3. . . I have this thing about staying up late and watching Japanese Anime. I find it a very fantastic genre as it continues to prove that the limits to what animation can accomplish are truly next to nothing if not nonexistent.

This revelation of mine to write often was reinforced with an Ironclad plaiting this morning in my writing class. Learning officially (again) that to write well, I must write often and a good writer writes all the time.

And I quote BF Skinner:

"No day without a line"

Time for Class!


"My heart is inditing a good matter: I speak of the things which I have made touching the king: my tongue is the pen of a ready writer."

Waking up with Discovery and the Frost

I obviously have a lot to say today. . . I guess this whole writing and reading business really has me excited.

-The Frost

This morning I seemed quite optimistic; optimistic to wake up, optimistic to start the day right, optimistic to write about it.

Other then a little lack of sleep, I felt I had the energy and gusto I needed to conquer an army, speaking of which, I started to listen/read to "The Art of War" a very interesting read (or manual I should say) on war fare. I find it a very intriguing listen on audio and plan on reading it for myself shortly. It is a wonderful way to pass time between drives back and fort from school.

I attend a private University where I am currently studying mass communications and journalism hence why I love writing so much and why I look so much forward to telling stories I hope to create this semester. By serious inspiration, I know I'll be struck with something soon. At least I hope it will be soon because I only have 17 weeks left to produce a final film project for a production course I'm taking this semester. I'll elaborate a little bit more about the school another time.

This morning I said I was very optimistic... This didn't change, however, to some surprise yet with little disappointment, this optimism of mine was soon challenged by the very forces of nature themselves.

Gosh darn it... I can't believe sometimes how much more I type out here that I seem to be leaving out in my journal. You see, I keep a written record of everything I do and think about through out the day now and reiterate anything I found interesting here... Yet, it's almost 10 times better when I redo it! You would think this would make me happy, yet alas, I only wish I would take some more time to think about things... But now that I think of it, I think this is how it is supposed to work. I much rather type anyway but I really want something more concrete. Oh well, where was I?

Oh yes! The Frost!

To my surprise, it was a chilly 30 degrees this morning and my windows were covered in a thin yet solid layer of frost. I expected a warm and welcoming day. Instead I got frosted windows and Houston traffic. On top of that, I was late to my first Old Testament Survey course. The professor was very understanding it being my first day.

It normally is not cold enough in Texas for such an alien thing to occur yet it still happened to my ungrateful surprise. I was fortunate that my brother (who is 2 years younger then I) recently was given our legally blind aunt's car for Christmas. She is all the way from northern Missouri and kept an ice scraper near in the passenger side pocket.

Chipping away the ice was simple enough then and because of this event I hope to pay a little more attention to the weather channel--rain or shine.

Jan. 12, 2010 I wrote:

Story Idea:

~The Ironclad Fist

Story about the rise of Ironclad ships vs. the wooden boats of it's previous era.

So while in History today, I had an idea for a story about Ironclad war ships going up against enormous forces consisting of archaic weaponry (especially boats made of wood.)

Ironclad ships have always been a small interest of mine since they are uniquely built and rarely seen or heard of today. I am also a sucker for what is called "Steampunk" which I am sure I will further explain in detail at one point or another. Just wanted to jot this all down before i Naturally forget...

Here Comes the Sun

So today I expect bright and beautiful things to reveal themselves... Although, I fear that Tuesdays and Thursdays I shall comes to dread for reasons I shall explain in a later post.

There's a lot that's happened since I've been back that could use some explaining, but if I wish to write at least everyday, I will have very little time to do it... So at least 30 minutes to write in the journal and 10 to write it up on here.

There's one particular song I love to wake up to in the morning and with the advent of the Apple Ipod I am able to finally do this... Of course, the wonderful contraption had to die in the middle of the night but to my misfortune as was at least wise enough to set the alarm on my cell phone as well. (this has happened to me before).

So for my own benefit and the benefit of the reader--whoever you are--I have posted the song to this blog in the hopes of rising with a little be more flutter in the soaring progression to a good day.

This morning, Jan. 12th, 2010 I wrote:

Morning time. There is something about getting up with or before the sunrise that has it's benefits and as I would like to quote Ben Franklin "Early to bed and early to rise, makes a man healthy, wealthy, and wise."Now such a saying is so true yet so difficult for a night-owl such as myself. I wonder if such a world could exist? A place where all normal day functions such as work and even school are performed? Of course I know there are plenty of jobs out there that take place in the night and I know of night school but I am suggesting entire societies gathering in the night just as many would durring the day. There is something about darkness to me that contains it's own magical element. Alas, for at least the beginning of this year, I will have little choice as to rise and emerge with the rest of the early birds. Over time, I suspect it will get easier and perhaps more satisfactory to be getting up so early. I do have a beautiful sunrise to look forward to. :)

Here comes the sun,

And I say it's all right.

Little Darling, it's been a long cold lonely winter.

Little Darling, it seems like years since it's been here.

Here comes the sun,

And I say it's all right.

Little darling

The smiles returning to the faces

Little darling

It seems like years since it's been here

Here comes the sun

Here comes the sun, and I say

It's alright

Little darling

I see the ice is slowly melting

Little darling

It seems like years since it's been clear

Here comes the sun, here comes the sun and i say,

It's alright

To New Found Memories

Hello you,

Remember me? Well, I could never forget your beloved face. It is your face that reminds me of all the faces of my friends, family, and moments that have taken my breath away. It is through your eyes that I am able to witness things from another perspective, it is through your ears that I can hear myself think, and it is your lips that communicate my ideas to the rest the universe.

Why is that important to me? Well, because you are my friend and I love you.

It's been a long time I know... I guess I just got caught up with things, rather, I became apathetic and worrisome that maybe you would rather not hear from me again. On the contrary, I know now how much you've missed me as I have also missed you.

Let's keep in touch--this time I don't think it will be so hard--as I've decided to write to you daily.

It is to you, dear friend, that I wish to share every precious moment as possible and it is by you I hope you will find enough interest to share with whomever makes their way around your graceful presence.

I shall also keep you in a written form... Although there I will keep even deeper thoughts locked in the depths of my mind,however, if ever there be some substantial or provoking thought I'd long for you to share, sure enough I will place it here where others may find it.

Today, Jan 11th 2010 I wrote:

So I've decided to start keeping a journal. Why? Well, I have quite the forgetful memory and, as of late, I have been interested in expanding my mind. I want to better recall the events in my life so that when another asks, "How was your week?" Or even "How is life?" for that matter, I'd be better prepared to answer with a few words at least rather then a typical and utterly bland and blank stare. It is rather embarrassing to be in such a situation and I believe by at least writing daily, I can try to redeem myself.

So. . . Here is to a new year and new found memories in the year 2010 or "Twenty-Ten" as some are calling it

Sound the Buzzhorn! Whitfield and Today's Disconection

by

Rob W. Oakley

-----George Whitefield, born December 16, 1714, was an entrepreneurial prodigy so to speak taking up his recently deceased father’s business and quickly learning the tools of the trade and became an excellent salesman. Later on Whitefield would acquire the aid of a stepfather and worked very closely with his family. Other then obtaining a vast understanding of sales and business, Whitefield also went on with an interest in commerce and evangelism.

-----After reading Frank Lambert's scholarly article “Pedlar in Divinity” one can very well come to the conclusion that Whitefield was hardly a pedlar but a man who knew how to take advantage of the leading mediums of communication. Rather then using any profit gained for the benefit of his own welfare, Whitefield would go on to sustain the advertisement of his work and his ministry to the less fortune.

----It was a social dilemma in that no one had any desire to gather in the name of commerce or the name of God. It was this matter, which sparked Whitefield's interest in that he knew; in order to sustain a body of believers and the governing forces between them, the people must mobilize and remain active together. Unfortunately, this was not the great case of the time until George Whitefield and his booming evangelical voice was heard throughout the New World.

-----In 1734-1735, Whitefield oversaw many of the initial stirrings of the First Great Awakening along with the other powerful and influential speakers such as Jonathan Edwards. The people were more then likely growing weary of the general topics being merely of who is and who is not of the proper doctrine. It was a battle of “Free Will” versus “Elected Grace” and many were beginning to feel like nothing more but empty and hopeless shells damned to be thrown away. On the contrary, Whitefield would assure that humankind at least have the powers within themselves to make a difference in the world around them. It was wrong for them to think condemning one another was more crucial then leaving such responsibility to God. Without first seeking the kingdom of heaven, they were instead seeking their own answers to the mystery of God's sovereign hand. Whitefield challenged their thinking and called them to dress better, to read better books, and to start pointing their fingers at themselves instead of one another.

-----George Whitefield was extraordinarily good at acquiring the attention of an audience (and a large one at that) so much to the effect that crowds would spontaneously appear from out of nowhere. One individual in particular was Benjamin Franklin.

-----Now of course, Franklin had every intention to make a profit off the charismatic Whitefield. Therefore, it would seem that the true Pedlar in this situation was Franklin and Whitefield being of the divine—that is the divine influence of God. Taking all of Whitefield's journals, sermons, prayers, and pamphlets, Franklin took it all and published them on mass scale including the mainstream of the city's newspaper. Some were greatly agitated of the situation, calling it religious propaganda. As long as Franklin was making a profit, however, and Whitefield continued to generate an audience, there was no stopping such a landslide revival. Although it all does seem to be propaganda and highly compromised due to a conflict in interest, there were still many converting to Christianity and making effective and immediate changes.

-----After all this success, the Great Awakening would soon come to an end, yet the impact continued to last echoing from generation to generation. Nevertheless, up until now it would seem there has been a drastic decline once again within today's society. With the advent of the World Wide Web, telecommunications, video-to-video conferences, and digital downloads of podcasts and even books, it would seem that the people are no longer mobilizing. Of course, there are vast amounts of social networks such as Facebook, Blogspot, and even You Tube but there is still a lack of the intimate “togetherness” necessary for a growth in relationship. There are no longer questions being asked, instead it would seem that the many happenings in a person's life are being “presented” to the observer rather then shared intimately.

-----There's a social bound between two individuals when they speak face to face. Although instantaneous messaging between chat rooms and texting and even live broadcast has brought the world closer together, not many are truly close. The moment the television is turned on, the family will no longer speak at the dinner table. Rather then interacting with each other they instead interact with the celebrity or politician on the screen, and yet, they cannot even talk to those projected images or ask them pressing questions.

-----Knowing all of that, could it be possible to have a revival today? Would George Whitefield's crucial techniques and voice be as effective? Could it be done better with today's technology? There have been numerous occasions when the people have actually gotten together as one and united community. However, and as of late, it would seem that is has taken great tragedy to enable such a thing to effectively motivate the movement. It would seem in order to get involved one must first know and then care to get involved. The problem with today's society and the problem Whitefield would face is that there are too many stuck in wondering the worse between two very unfortunate vices—ignorance and apathy. If the people do not know to get involved, more then likely they do not care to get involved either and it may be very well because of a lack of involvement between one individual to the next.

-----“Not only did Whitefield view commerce and religion as compatible, he maintained that trade was an essential feature of the divine economy. He argued that God would have deemed creation incomplete if his human creatures lacked company. Therefore, the Almighty made it impossible that “communities be kept up, or commerce carried on, without society.” Indeed, “Providence seems[ed] wisely to have assigned a particular product to almost each particular Country, on Purpose, as it were to oblige us to be social.” Whitefield concluded that the mutual dependence of commerce and society demonstrated that “the one great end of [human] existence,” consisted in individuals' being useful to each other in social life. Toward that end, he determined to share his “particular product”--his evangelical message—with the widest possible audience through the means at hand.

BIBILOGRAPHY

Lambert, Frank. “Pedlar in Divinity:” George Whitefield and the Great Awakening, 1737-1745. The Journal of American History, (December 1990): 812-837.

...:::Analytical Essay of Jonathan Edward's “Sinners in the Hands of an Angry God”:::...

by

Robert W. Oakley

-----“Sinners in the Hands of an Angry God” is one of Jonathan Edward's most well known and 1 rousing sermons given during America's first Great Awakening. The significance of the Great Awakening and Jonathan Edward's involvement, inspiration, and intrigue in the spiritual welfare of the American people is displayed throughout the document and serves an impact not only to its own time, but still remains influential to this day in schools, universities, churches, and among the nation's finest leaders and the individuals who follow them.

-----Jonathan Edwards was born on October 5, 1703, in East Windsor, Connecticut to Timothy and Esther Edwards. He was the fifth of 11 children and his childhood education led him deep into Biblical studies1. Growing up as a Puritan evangelical, Jonathan Edwards would soon take rise to be among the most famous preachers of his time with a degree from Yale University and a devout love for God and His creation backing him up. Edwards had a fond fascination with nature and science (especially spiders and psychology) which gave him a firm advantage in his writings and sermons.

-----In 1734-1735, Edwards oversaw some of the initial stirrings of the First Great Awakening along with the boom of George Whitfield's revivals. The work of George Whitfield, greatly contributed to the Great Awakening with his immensely motivational and powerful speeches, makes Jonathan Edwards' involvement seem minute in comparison because Whitfield's presence was so widespread. On the contrary, Edwards' work did play a major role in awakening the populace in that he did not only speak in terms of “Sinners in the Hands of an Angry God, but also showed how one could seek God's perfect will in acknowledging His sovereign wrath but promise of everlasting grace.

-----Edwards was the successor to his grandfather's Church in Northampton, Massachusetts, the largest and most influential church outside of Boston. This made it all the more imperative to thoroughly convince the congregation of the intense doctrine of God's wrath and God's grace:
so that they too could know the truth and influence the nation.

-----“In Puritan theology the focus was on what God has done for us. In the aftermath of the Awakening, the new emphasis was on what man can do in response to God's great gift.”What man can do to save himself—to keep him out of the depths of hell—is nothing, according to Jonathan Edwards. A statement which gathered the attention of not only nonbelievers but also the believers themselves. “The use of this awful subject may be for [awakening] unconverted persons in this congregation.” The unconverted wouldn't necessarily mean those who are not normally church goers or considered Puritans but those who have not acknowledge that Jesus is the Lord of their lives and have no excuse for their wickedness. It seems implied that any desire to partake in sin would suggest that one is not or was never converted (saved) in the first place, nor would they have an authentic fear of God. The wrath of God would forever punish those who had brought Him displeasure in their sinfulness because their very salvation itself is faulty; they did not fear the Lord.

-----Edwards revealed that the “good state of [one's] bodily constitution, the care of [one's] own life, and the means [one] uses for [his] own preservation” have nothing to do with salvation. Those who were not blinded by the mysticism of empirical self benefit perhaps took great refuge in that their devout worship and fear of God was not in vain. For the rest, there was much trembling and fear of the very ground opening up to swallow them whole.

-----The purpose of this intense sermon would be to awake those who think well of themselves but do not fear the Lord in that they believe that God could never be so angry toward them for being a part of the elect: to show them that the Lord God is sovereign and does not take sin very lightly at all. And, wherefore, the people would respond with utmost fear of their own damnation, confirming their sinfulness and need for a savior, and to worship the Lord as new creatures with a new outlook on God, not only His anger toward their sin but also His love and mercy. Simply trusting in the covenants of grace laid out by the coming of Jesus Christ and utterly fearing the wrath of God was all that was required.

-----For many, men of God were self-righteous, condescending, arrogant, unfriendly, or argumentative.The church attendance, rituals, and regulations prompted congregates perhaps to feel they were nothing more than empty shells. Instead of sound doctrine and invitations to receive fulfilling lives in the presence of the Lord and each other, many were led to believe that being among the brethren meant nothing more than debating theology and determining who is and who is not part of God's elected people. Not that it mattered to be separate from the world, but to be fortunate enough to be allowed in church membership and partake in the holy sacraments.

-----The Great Awakening and this powerful sermon tore down the walls which before blocked the view of slaves and sinners, people in desperate need of redemption, love, and the resurrection of Jesus Christ. They needed to hear that God was angry with the natural ways of mankind; they also needed to hear, however, that God had not deprived them of His mercy. They had an opportunity to turn, to choose, to acknowledge Him and the gift of salvation to all man. Black or white, bound or free, man or women, sinner or saint, everyone had fallen short of the glory of God but everyone had a chance to give God everything and in His name be changed forever.

-----Finally, the “Tactics first used to mobilize religious groups—such as organizing committees and writing petitions and letters—also proved useful for political activities.” In awakening from the deep sleep of blissful ignorance, individuals repented, were redeemed, and resolved to become increasingly active in not only religious affairs and a more intimate relationship with God but also the affairs of the political arena. Now holding the countries leaders accountable for their actions, the people would assume men of virtue and utmost respect for God and the equality of man to be elected. “The Awakening thus fostered greater political awareness and participation among colonists.”

-----The revivals would soon tone down, the Great Awakening would soon end, but the impact it had was everlasting. This is shown by the testimonies of many individuals and the admiration of one in particular, a Jonathan Edwards of our own time so to speak, John Piper.

-----Piper wrote,“The Message of Jonathan Edwards in The End of Which God Created the World is an intensely personal concern for me and a word of great public significance. In that book, a vision of God is displayed that took me captive thirty years ago and has put its stamp on every part of my life and ministry. But, more important than my own experience, is the immense significance of Edward's vision of God for the wider public of our day.” Although it would not seem directly that it was Edward's “Sinners in the Hand's of an Angry God” that captured Piper, the great influence is still present and no doubt John Piper would also find the sermon still intriguing compared to many of his other contributions to Christian theology.

-----The Great Awakening developed as a theology of "total dependence" on the transformative emanations of the Holy Spirit under Jonathan Edwards. Confronting his congregation, Edwards presented two images: images of "Sinners in the hands of an angry God" against those of "the divine and supernatural light".

-----The result of such sermons during the 1730s brought society to remarkable conversion and interior reflection. This spread throughout New England in different degrees throughout the decade, with another resurgence or zeal occurring in 1742-1743.6 Without the aid of this man, his transforming words, and all the impacted lives, the world we know today could be much different. Jonathan Edwards is much more then a legendary theologian, in fact, a part of him lives amongst all who proclaim the name of Christ. Despite these things happened quite a few centuries ago, the revivals and Edwards' words still echo far into eternity revealing the greatest truth of all—God's sovereign grace and gift of salvation.

Bibliography

Goldfield, Abbott, Argersinger, Anderson, Barney, Argersinger, and Weir,

The American Journey. New Jersey: Prentice Hall, 2009.

The Great Awakening, “Some Figures of The Great Awakening.”

http://www.great-awakening.com/figures.htm

(accessed November 9, 2009)

Piper and Edwards, God's Passion for His Glory:

Living the Vision of Jonathan Edwards, Illinois: Crossway Books, 2009.

The Jonathan Edwards Center at Yale University,

"Jonathan Edwards: Biography."

http://edwards.yale.edu/research/about-edwards/biography

(accessed November 9, 2009).

Wake Forest University, "Lecture Four The Great Awakening."

http://edwards.yale.edu/research/about edwards/biography

(accessed November 9,2009).

Play Review for:“The Mystery of Irma Vep”

Playwright Charles Lublam

Director Craig Miller

---What do Vampires, Mummies, Werewolves, and Psychotic Maids all have in common? Halloween of course, and what better way to experience Halloween night than enjoying the classic horror stories passed down from generation to generation and what better way to do it than on the theatrical stage? The one and only Texas Repertory Theatre brings to the stage playwright Charles Lublam's exciting, intriguing, and hilarious play "The Mystery of Irma Vep" which grants a horrific night to a scale much more impacting and interactive than any other.

---The setting illuminates and becomes alive transporting the theatre and those within into the home of Lord Edgar Hillcrest or Mandacrest as the other characters tend to call it. It is a vintage home with a set of French doors at the back, a small table and chair, and a fireplace with a mantle over which is a portrait of a woman who is later identified as Lady Irma herself. Near the fire place is a set of chairs and other furniture is about the house including a nice sofa center stage. All about the home and the walls are indications of travel: relics and trinkets of African, Asian, and Egyptian origin. There is also a bookcase full of binders, books, and other small objects of foreign lands stage left. The attention to detail—the stagecraft, the lights, and the sounds—is very delicate and well approached making it that much more believable. The most worthy of note, as far as the lights are concerned, is perhaps the realistic moon which is very simply a light cast in shadow just above the set. Although the theatre itself is small, the illusion of infinite space is achieved as the carefully set lights and the set itself becomes a window into another world.

---Edger, a fragile man yet hunter and explorer of sorts, has lost his love, the woman his entire world seems to revolve, Lady Irma. He now lives with his maid Jane Twisden, servant Nicodemus Underwood, and new mistress, Lady Enid, who all try so hard to rid Edgar of his ghastly past. Although Jane seems all too interested in her cleaning, she strangely walks about making comments of evil and the devils work constantly blaming any type of horrific event on either it or some curse while Nicodemus panders about perversely trying to woo Jane. And Enid, a retired actress still tied to her flaring youth, tries desperately to rid the late Hillcrest from poor Edgar's memories. Although there are mainly these four characters, there are others still including an undead Egyptian, a wolf-man, and even a vampire all revealed as the course of the play continues.

---The conflict, the drama, the initial incident becomes apparent as the truth of Edgar's past reveals little by little a deep and dark secret of something concerning the supernatural. On the case of this great mystery is Lady Enid herself along with her curiosity of Mandacrest's real nature. However, her curiosity may be the end of her entirely. Will she survive the ever so increasing dangerous attempts on her life by terrible creatures that emerge in the night? Will Irma's true identity and even true whereabouts be revealed? Will Edger finally be redeemed of his past?

---As for the Actors performance, it is quite amazing to realize that the entire action of the play is created not by a full cast of six for each character but each character is, in fact, created on stage by only two actors, male actors as a matter of fact: Timothy Evers and Rob De Los Reyes. They are quite impressive and very entertaining gentlemen and quite obviously very energetic; however, one wouldn't blame them for being extremely exhausted after the show. It is also impressive to note that the both of them played rather convincing women as Evers took on the role of Jane as well as Nicodemus while De Los Reyes played Lady Enid and Edgar. Both, of course later would individually play other roles such as the monsters for example. It simply wouldn't be right to comment on the individual actors performance for this writer believes they both very equally shared the glamor of the stage with shear passion and quite simply fun. That is something to note, however, that as long as one can tell that even the actor is enjoying him or herself, one should be satisfied with such a fact to realize that the actors are performing with their heats and not just for the income.

---To conclude, this is a wonderful, hilarious, and must see play perfect for Halloween night and perfect for all ages. Although it is no longer playing at the Texas Repertory Theatre, they may plan on premiering it once again for October 2009. One should definitely make plans on seeing it then for it is simply too enjoyable to miss. Of course, to make the wait even shorter and to get an inside look of what the Texas Rep is like, anyone could walk in to see their many other wonderful shows throughout the year. This Christmas the Texas Rep is playing "A Christmas Story" which this writer most certainly intends on going to see and, of course, enjoy. The Mystery of Irma Vep is an overall experience to "die for."

Eternal Scholar

                                                                                               

By Robert W. Oakley

Available in ways seen and unseen, edification subconsciously yet consciously embraces the mind of the life-long student, the eternal scholar, who considers learning and discovering a constant venture for the vast amount of information is, quite tranquilly, endless with endless rewards given only to the willing and dedicated. The experience of learning novel things and their deeper meanings, their scores of emotions, and their intricate mysteries form the mind. The discovery of unfamiliar worlds and uncovering their complex culture, their diverse nature, and their unknown territory bring a better sense of belonging, meaning, and purpose. The experience of not just learning but also learning to do it well grants satisfaction and advancement. More imperatively, though, the eternal scholar recognizes the experience of learning and the experience of education does not have to favor a strict or difficult life but, rather, has the potential of glorifying and enjoying life for all eternity.

Although the veil of uncertainty often warrants difficulty in obtaining an education, hoping for the opportunity only encourages but seeking for opportunity, finding opportunity, and taking advantage of opportunity unveils a much clearer route to learning. In other words, sitting around waiting for the opportunity won’t do any good; therefore, research is required. Generally speaking, learning from mistakes gains the best experience and the best way to learn from mistakes is to observe the mistakes of others in a controlled environment.  Where is such a place? There are many opportunities that can come and go but only a few advantages to truly pick from particularly universities or even community colleges. Although the many roads of life confuses the thought of the highly acclaimed certificates or diplomas, considering college, in many cases, should not render as a choice but an honor, a not-to-miss opportunity of living a joyous, free, and educated life.

With the constant change of culture, with the constant demands of the world, and with the constant battle for survival within  upper and lower bureaucratic or even chaotic societies, The knowledge, wisdom, and understanding of the complexities, inconsistencies, and anomalies of even the simplest ways of living must utterly equip themselves within the mind. As an explorer uses a compass to find a way through the crashing storm of a raging sea, so should these tools— knowledge, wisdom, and understanding—be used to channel a way around the uncertainties in life. Without these precision tools for seeking out truth, becoming lost, consumed, and even destroyed is of a much higher certainty than a safe passage towards a haven full of bounty.  Truth is imperative to obtain, to know, to understand and one way to achieve such truth, such powerful tools, is to attend a university.

The void of uncertainty produces fear and fear produces chaos. Ignorance terrorizes but understanding conquers.  There are institutions all over the world taking responsibility of providing tools students need to dilute the unknown and decimate apprehension—Institutions providing a knowledgeable and confident life in education or in a future career. On the one side, college can still seem notorious, unnecessary, or nauseating, but once an understanding is established that college intends to prepare a life full of potential, advantage, and prosperity, the opinions should change. The individual, however, must choose to learn. Without the drive, determination, and devotion of the student, a college cannot bear much help nor could any other form of education whether it is an internship or a practical job. In essence, dedication and hard work assures and preserves success. Colleges want to provide exactly that—a successful and joyful way of living. Not that only failure and despair would transcend for not going to college but the mere advantage shouldn’t go without consideration and the overall opportunity must be seized. College, although necessary, is not absolutely necessary. Much knowledge and wisdom can be obtained from experience and such experience can be obtained through peers, elders, and corporations that offer any experience needed to succeed in life. The best place to find these people, of course, is at a university where almost any thinkable profession and all the experience needed to prefect any given trade is available. 

There are many success stories of a life without a college education, there are many successful men and women who have made their way very well in the industry who felt that a form of higher education was not necessary for them to succeed; however, many of them would still encourage it for this reason: knowledge is the key to truth and, thus, success. Once opened, this door unlocks a whole other world of opportunity and is free to whoever enters within the gates, the gates of eternal wisdom. One major purpose of life is to obtain knowledge so that the development of the mind can continue. In essence, the meaning of life is to know truth.  Finding that truth is a matter of dedicated study, a devotion to learning, and the mindset of a life-long student—an eternal scholar. With these tools, with these incredible institutions, with this state of mind, anything is possible.

 

Aspiration

-----I am standing on a beach peering across a vast sea with a an unnatural purplish blue sky, dark blue clouds, and lighting bursting in the distance; the water is transparent yet thick as blue paint tossing about the wind; and the beach, the beach is a deserted, barren, and an empty thing, and I say thing because it seemed alive. There is nothing behind me but mountains and nothing in front of me but the sea and a dock which extended about 60 feet across the water. As I stared beyond the dark and corroded dock and into the distance wondering why I was there, a strong breeze brushed across my face and a warm glow of green and blue and yellow light shown throughout the horizon. I gazed further to see a figure in white robes. I had this strange desire to go out to him but I was afraid... A voice said, “come” and I ran to the dock and dashed across the planks. No longer could I feel the cool sand nor the harsh wood but the cool water beneath my feet. I was in amazement! I was walking on the water! I increased my stride as my desire to reach this person intensified. CRASH! ROAR! HISS! The wind began to shriek, the waves began to beat against me. Fear consumed and I began to sink! “God NO!” was all I could think then.
-----I couldn’t understand… I knew I was dreaming but all I could do was watch myself drown. I tried with all my strength to swim back up but the sea was just too strong… I just couldn’t do it by myself. As I held my breath in my dream I held it in reality trying so hard to come back up for air but I just couldn’t do it. I felt so alone, so scared, and in such despair that I just couldn’t do anything. My sight began to fade, my life began to fade, and my dream began to fade. When my hope of reaching the surface was almost completely gone, SWOOP! Went a mighty hand, grabbing me by the chest, and out of the water. It was an incredible feeling… I gasped for air and awoke form my dream.
-----It seemed so real. . . It seemed so real was all that I could think. As I pondered such an experience naturally I recalled the same experience Peter had as he walked on water out to His savior. It was a lack of faith and a lack of focus that caused Peter to hesitate and fall but it was Jesus Christ that gave him true strength and ability to do the impossible. It is my prayer that I can cut off my fear of drowning in a world of deep inequity and leap out with faith that God will catch me and never let me go. I want to do what He commands me without hesitation, never losing focus of His perfection, and always looking forward to my chief end--To glorify and enjoy Him forever. Amen

I Ate Dinner Alone Last Night

-----It’s a curious condition, something we all have, and something I don’t want anymore—human emotion: why bother having it? If it weren’t for love, there wouldn’t be any hate, if it weren’t for happiness, there wouldn’t be despair, if it weren’t for peace, there wouldn’t be any war.
-----It’s been a rare occasion until as of late and there is nothing lonelier then a dinner table with empty seats. As I set my own table, and sat there in solitude, I couldn’t help but think, “For how much longer I will sit alone, for how much longer I will be by myself, and how much longer will I have a place to call home?” I’ve taken so much for granted—every blessing disregarded—because at that moment I was only thinking of myself. Did it occur to me at all that when I leave this wonderful home God has so blessed me with to go on and do my own thing that I won’t be the only one saying goodbye? Did I consider the feelings of those whom I claim to love and how my lack of existence would impact their lives? What would the world be like if I was to suddenly disappear; a better place perhaps? Questions. . . Is that all I can do? The minutes slowly drifted across my little rift of time; I pondered further, to try and come to a close, the last 18 years of my life. . . Was it all worth it?
-----WAKE UP! I cried inside! Don’t you understand that this isn’t the end? You aren’t losing anything but why do you feel and see your world falling apart? Hold on to your emotions! Don’t let go! They make you who you are. . . Why are you in despair? Every bite was bitter sweet, painful, depressing. I couldn’t stand to think of a world without love because I realized that even though there is pain and misery I truly wouldn’t have any other way. It’s the pain that makes me stronger, faster, better. It’s love that I want most. . . But can’t have. . . Because I don’t deserve it. I don’t deserve my wonderful family, my wise parents, my fun-loving siblings, my encouraging friends. Hell and damnation is what I deserve! Lord I cannot fathom why you would love such a monster. Amazing was all that I could think of then. Although I live in a world full of imperfection, lies, deceit , dirty looks, and the things people use to say—it’s the curve that made my confidence crash—I still serve a God who will always love me no matter what and the only thing He asks in return is that I love Him back. I was so selfish. . . This is your life and it’s been all but ordinary; now sit inside your wall of shame leaving what’s forgotten, you make it so hard to find a world, a home, you can call your own.
-----My plate was now empty but the chair in front of me no longer was. I began to imagine my siblings sitting there sharing a coke, my parents sharing their wisdom, and my best friends sharing their dreams. I than understood that I wasn’t alone anymore and that I never was because no matter what my family will always love me and my friends will always be there. If not, I know for sure there is one person who will always be there for me: Christ Jesus, my Lord, my Savior, my Friend. I began to feel the comfort of His spirit within me, and the strength of His words as I reminisced their meanings. No longer was I afraid, no longer did I have doubt, and no longer did I feel alone. I used to feel that my efforts in friendships were in vain, that my involvement in the lives of the people around me was worthless, because every time you say hello that means you’ll have to say goodbye and that’s something I never want to have to do. I guess I still haven’t answered my question. . . Why bother with human emotions?
-----Without love, without joy, without peace, without emotion: we would be nothing more than empty shells and thoughtless machines; however, there wouldn’t be any misery, we couldn’t feel pain, we wouldn’t hate, or go to war. Its human emotion that defines the greatness of God for it is only love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith, meekness and temperance that comes from Him and not hate, despair, war, intolerants, roughness, disbelief, or a lack of self control. God did not want to make us love Him rather He wants us to want to love Him and without human emotion that would be impossible. Although we would feel no pain, although every mistake in life we made would have no impact, and although every painful memory we may have hidden within would go away, life would have no meaning. Pain makes us bigger, better, faster, stronger, and love makes us the greatest things of all. To love even though there is pain, to live even though there is hate and stupid mistakes in this world, to laugh even though deep inside we are weeping makes us invincible.
-----I use to think that everything I wanted to have, to do, to give, and to say, never really benefited my life; that it all sort of meant nothing because I just couldn’t see beyond myself. Now I realize that the fruit I have produced in the last few years has not only impacted my life but also impacted the lives of others and produced fruit in them; thus, I have discovered much more purpose and meaning to life. May I conclude that human emotion is very important and that I would be lost without it. There just isn’t enough love in the world and sometimes too much pain I guess that causes me to wish away my feelings, but I must always remember that this isn’t paradise (that’s yet to come) and it is in our diverse trials that worketh patients so that one day we will be made perfect and entire wanting nothing.

John 15 12- 27

This is my commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you. Greater love has no one than this, that someone lays down his life for his friends. You are my friends if you do what I command you. No longer do I call you servants for the servant does not know what is master is doing; but I have called you friends for all that I have heard from my Father I have made known to you. You did not choose me, but I chose you and appointed you that you should go and bear fruit and that your fruit should abide, so that what you ask the Father in my mane he may give it to you. These things I command you, so that you will love one another.

If the world hates you, know that it has hated me before it hated you. If you were of the world, the world would love you as its own; but you are not of the world, but I chose you out of the world, therefore the world hates you. Remember the word that I said to you: a servant is not greater than his master, if they persecuted me, they will also persecute you, if they kept my word, they will keep yours. But all these things they will do to you on account on my name because they do not know him who sent me.