So I've been B.U.S.Y and I'll really regret feeling that way. . .

There's this thing about wanting less on your plate that always get's me confused. . . Shouldn't having a lot to do make me a happier person? Then have to ask myself, "Why do I really do it? Because it makes me happy?"


Sometimes I forget that there are people watching me but only because I never get that sense of approval or appreciation that everyone or. . . At least every guy really longs for... My life continues to be something merely observed and, on occasion, poked at by some bystander I probably hardly know, but then again who's fault is that, who's fault is it that I barely know who's observing me?

Dear void, are you listening?

Well if you are, that probably means you've been listening since the beginning. I just wish you'd say something back every once in awhile.

So I'm apologizing in a way to you Emptiness, that in a way, I've considered myself to be very busy. As a matter of fact, it is this business that has kept me away for such a very long time, that has kept me from writing to the Abyss on such very rare but meaningful occasions.

I was reminded on how terrible a thing, being busy, can really be.

It means that I consider myself distracted and unaware of my surroundings.

Unable to fathom how great a universe I happen to exist. The very plain I stand upon should thoroughly  seduce me into thinking, "My God! What a world you have made"

Being busy is like saying I'm ignoring my best friend. . . Which in someways, I have indeed done this horrible thing to indeed go on to do what I think is keeping me busy. Realistically speaking, I'm making an escuse to not make time, and realize that everything I do isn't for my self benefit that it is to give me an opportunity to shine a little dim light in the darkness that surrounds me that I feel is so close it almost chokes the life out of me. But I must endure this darkness, I must continue to shine, realizing that it is this purpose that keeps me going forward.

I should never aim or state that I am or have been busy.

I am always glorifying that which has made me--My Lord, my God. Amen.

"My heart is inditing a good matter: I speak of the things which I have made touching the king: my tongue is the pen of a ready writer."